If Only Tears
by SDYusuke
Summary: Challenge songfic for Maria Stars. YAOI, YusukexKurama. Yusuke's been gone for three years, how is Kurama coping with this loss? Suicidal thoughts. Song (c) Midnight Sons.


If Only Tears

written by xDarkxMagicianxGirlx

"If Only Tears Could Bring You Back to Me" © Midnight Sons 

Warnings: Yaoi Yusuke x Kurama

Songfic request by Maria Stars

_Thinking and song_

//Flashback or Memory//

~Dreams~

Normal text

  


* * *

_How will I start_

_Tomorrow without you here_

_Whose heart will guide me_

_When all the answers disappear_

Kurama sat on the edge of the cliff, inhaling the crisp morning air that billowed through his hair, making it rise and fall like waves gently lapping against the golden sand. Beautiful pinks and golds united and became one across the pale blue sky. The sun was slowly lifting its great golden body above the purple mountains, and the first pale rays bounced off the dew stained leaves and petals of a sleeping rose bush.

Slender fingers touched the velvet petals of the lush roses, and instantly they opened, awakened from their sleep. As the emerald eyes turned back to the approaching sun, you could see a tint of sadness locked in the depths. But who could be so sad on such a beautiful morning? A lovesick teen, that's who. Shuuichi Minamino, seventeen going on eighteen in three days and in love with one of his best friends.

As the sun rose higher in the sky, the redhead stood. A long, drawn out sigh escaped his precious lips, the sound rousing a few sparrows in a nearby thicket. Their early morning calls breaking the silence that had settled on the small glade Kurama had taken refuge in that night. 

He didn't know how long he had been sitting there, waiting, longing the sunrise that might bring back his beloved friend. As he stood, small beads of cold drew that had nestled on his crimson locks shook loose and dropped to the ground soundlessly.

As the fox teen turned to return to Genkai's temple, where he had been staying because of his slow demon aging, the redhead's acute hearing picked up a distant cry. Noiselessly he sped through the forest. The only trace left behind was the gentle movement of a leaf against its mate. Emerald eyes darted as he ran, ears pricked for the call. 

"Puuuuuuuu!" came the high-pitched chirp again.

The redhead stopped, feet landing softly on the ground, his yellow tunic fluttering about his slender body as he came upon the little bird. Puu, his only link to his beloved Yusuke. Ever since Yusuke had left three years ago, Kurama had taken care of the little lookalike.

"Puu, what's wrong?" he asked, his voice wrapped in concern.

The little spirit beast began chirping rapidly. Luckily because of Kurama's animal instincts he could understand the creature, yet the bird was chatting so fast he could barely understand a word. 

Bending over to lift the little blue bird into his arms, he tried to calm him down by carefully rubbing his back in small circles. "Now I can't understand you when you talk so fast," he said gently, slowly making the long trek back to the temple.

Nodding a little, the little bird opened his beak and uttered a solemn chirp. Nothing more. Nothing less. Kurama understood perfectly. 

"Yusuke?" he asked, looking at the bird, concerned even more, "what's wrong with him?"

The bird chirped again, but stopped, tilting his head toward another voice, this one much more familiar as it spoke, "Kurama..? Where have you been?" The voice was gentle and sounded of a spring rain that gently dusted over nature's thirsty children.

"I was out Yukina..the same place I go every morning."

The small ice maiden bowed politely. "I'm sorry Kurama-san, but everyone is worrying about you."

"There's no reason to worry," he said, shrugging a bit, "I only go out to watch the sunrise."

Yukina nodded, though it seemed very hesitant. "Well, breakfast is ready, if you wish to join us.."

"No thanks Yukina, I ate in the forest, I'll be fine until later."

The ice maiden nodded and turned, walking off. She couldn't help glancing over her shoulder at the redhead as she left him alone to talk with the teddy bear with wings.

_Is it too late_

_Are you too far gone to stay_

_This one's forever_

_Should never have to go away_

"So what did he say?" came the voice of the jaganshi, Hiei, as his sister walked by.

Yukina stopped in her tracks and tilted her pale face toward her long lost brother. "He said he wasn't hungry."

"Anything else?" he asked, his usual uncaring voice softening as his ruby red orbs caught sight of his sister's cute pose.

"No, that's it. Though he did seem to be having another one of those intimate talks with Puu.."

The jaganshi nodded his thanks to the maiden and quickly sped out of the temple. "Wait! Hiei!" she cried, placing her hands on her hips as the fire apparition sped off into the distance. "I guess that just leaves more for Kazuma-kun."

_What will I do_

_You know I'm only have without you_

_How will I make it through_

Kurama once again sat atop the cliff, the serene stream below skirting it's way through the dark pines and trickling through their roots, refreshing them with its clear water. Puu had fallen asleep long ago, for he had exhausted himself in his wild frenzy earlier. So the redhead was once again left to ponder over his ever present thoughts.

A soft breeze bristled by, a little too warm for a normal one. As he lifted his gaze, he caught sight of two crimson orbs casting a concerned shadow over his features before disappearing like a shadow, never lingering in the land of the ningen for too long.

Kurama let out another small sigh, this time wavering as it left his pale lips. "I don't know how much longer I can last without you Yusuke..." he whispered, his voice just barely above a whisper.

He hadn't noticed it, but small crystal droplets began pooling in the corners of his eyes, dropping soundlessly to his cheeks and later to the lush green carpet that adorned the forest floor, absorbing the gift that the fox had given to them.

_If only tears could bring you back to me_

_If only love could find a way_

_What I would do, what I would give_

_If you return to me someday_

_somehow, someway_

_If my tears could bring you back to me_

Hiei tilted his head to either side, surveying the landscape. Trees rose into the air, snatching up the blue sky into their long branches and letting only the sun filter in through the small pockets the leaves failed to cover.

The young demon knelt down on a bended knee, drawing a tanned finger over the soil. Bringing it to his nose, he carefully drew in the scent. After a long inhalation, the small demon let his lids flutter open.

"There's no mistaking that smell," he said idly, standing up and leaping into a nearby tree, "it's Yusuke all right."

~"Kurama!" the fierce yell was heard over the battle, simmering some of his pain and urging him to go on. "Kurama! Just stay down and let me take the rest of them on!"

Breathing came out in short, clipped gasps as the teen's acute hearing picked up another voice. It was the voice of their fallen comrade. "Urameshi knows he can't take on all four of them in a row. He needs Kurama to get this victory."

The fox teen pushed himself up. He was standing again, and less than ten seconds. "Kurama! No!" came the cry again, muffled slightly by the ice wall that separated them.

"I must go on Yusuke... for you..." he whispered to himself before running, rubbing his own blood on his chest as he did so.

Suddenly the redhead seemed propelled from his running body, standing meters away from the detective, watching in horror as he sowed the death seed into his own body, clenching the victory for team Urameshi. Watching as his body's subconsciousness slipped away and the teen fell into a coma in the middle of the ring.

His jade eyes were momentarily drawn from himself in the ring, getting beaten to a pulp. He had never seen this part.. Hiei had used his third eye to place the memory into his mind - he remembered - and he had dreamed his dream, many times before. Never, though had he made it this far.

As his emerald orbs studied the boy, he watched as Yusuke's face seemed to be contorted in rage, especially when the committee ruled Kurama 'fit to fight'. He had never seen Yusuke so angry, not even when Keiko had been captured. Surely he was more angry then? When the one person he loved most was on the brink of death, and yet, the younger detective was willing to go to all lengths to save him - even lose the tournament.

He watched as the delinquent's arm, almost in slow motion, lifted from his side. His hand, forming into his trademark spirit gun technique, was pointed directly at Bakken. Emerald orbs traveled to the fight in the ring. Fight? More like a slaughter.

"Don't touch him!" the voice of the other team captain wafted through the air.

"What? Why not?"the idiot of a demon asked in confusion, his arm drawn back as he held the redheaded boy's body off the ground.

"Look behind you," came the voice again, and as Bakken turned, his eyes widened to see Yusuke ready and willing to blow his head off. "Do you think you could've taken a direct blow to the back by his spirit gun? If that punch had connected you wouldn't have survived." The voice paused, as if contemplating something, before continuing.

"He cares more for that demon then this tournament.." his voice trailed off.

Bakken seemed to have heard enough, and after a few irritated mumbles, he turned. "Here, you want him?!" he yelled, tossing the redhead out of the ring.

Kurama remembered that, he had been partially awake. He had also been thankful he had been awake. Suddenly around him went dark and he was once more inside his body looking out. 

He remembered this moment. It was burned in his memory forever. He remembered laying on the cold grass, hearing the soft footsteps of his leader's feet as he passed over the ground toward him, the scent of the boy as he drew closer, and then his warmth as he felt his battered body drawn into the strong arms of his secret love.~

The dream, or more like a memory, faded out before his eyes, and when he opened them again, nothing was there but the dull white ceiling of his bedroom. He had never made it that far in his dream.

Wiping a hand over his brow, he flicked the cold sweat away and sighed. Stretching his long arms above his head, the eighteen-year-old scratched his head. There was no morning light stretching its fingers to greet him, and as his bright emerald orbs moved along his pale blue walls to the window beside his bed, Kurama realized that it was still night time out.

The slender moon shone brightly in the dark sky, its crescent shape outlined by the depth of black the sky had taken in its sleep. Small twinkling stars dotted the sky, forming pictures and spiritual beings in the sky for only those who looked to find.

Kurama's pale fingers touched the glass of his window and slowly his fingertips traced a heart over the clear glass. "Oh Yusuke... when are you coming home..?" he asked, a few tears forming in his emerald orbs.

_I'd cry you an ocean_

_If you'd sail on home again_

_Wings of emotion_

_Will carry you I know they can_

Hiei carried on his search. He had two days to find his leader and talk some sense into that thick head of his. He had two days to make everything right again, not normal, but right. He didn't want normal, because nothing was ever normal between his best friend and his leader, that he had found out.

//"What's wrong with you fox? You look like someone just died.." Hiei chided as he sat on the redhead's window sill, watching his friend as he got ready for school.

"Nothing that you'd understand Hiei.." was the emotionless, almost deathlike tone Kurama gave as he spoke.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You were the one who said you didn't understand silly human emotions, weren't you?" he asked, turning fully away from his mirror which he had been brushing his hair in.

"Why are you so snappy with me?" he asked, or rather growled.

"I'm sorry Hiei.." the younger demon said with a sigh, turning back to his mirror and looking at the jaganshi, "I'm just..having a hard time..adjusting, is all.."

"Adjusting? To what?"

"Just..being home I guess.."

"Kurama, you've been home for over a year, how much harder can it get?"

The redhead sighed again. "You just don't understand.."

"You know that I can find out in a heartbeat, right? I _am_ a telepath.."

"Yeah, I am still aware of that.." he said, though he knew full well that Hiei would never use his mind-reading powers against Kurama unless the younger of the two wouldn't mind.

"Well, are you going to tell me? Or shall I rip it out of you?" the short demon asked in mild humor. 

"Such concern," Kurama used, his voice taking on the same tone.

Suddenly, there was a soft knock on the door. "Shuuichi? Are you still getting ready? You're going to be late for school.."

"Yes mother. I'm almost finished... just brushing my hair.."

"Oh," the door opened and Shiori poked her head in. Seeing the other alone - for Hiei had moved behind the curtains and out of sight of even the most efficient tracking devices - she walked in and placed a hand on her son's shoulder. 

"Are you still upset Shuuichi?" the woman asked softly.

The redhead looked at his mother through his mirror and gave her a small, almost unnoticed nod. Seeing it, the woman bent low and encircled her arms about the other's shoulders. "Would you like to stay home today? Your teachers told me last night at the conference that you're ahead of all the other students in all your subjects.."

"Yes, well, I guess I've been putting on my efforts into my school work.." he said softly, though he knew every individual in the room could hear him.

"Well, you can stay home today, all right? It'll do you some good," Shiori smiled at her son and kissed him on the cheek.

Kurama nodded and embraced her back lightly. "Thanks mom.."

Smiling warmly, she stood and began walking to the door. Stopping, her eyes traveled around the room before she shrugged and walked out.

Kurama waited for the door to close, and the footsteps of his mother die before he began brushing his long red hair again.

"So..what's wrong?" came Hiei's slightly annoyed voice as he reappeared from the sill.

"You know what's wrong Hiei..." the lighter boy said softly, looking through his mirror at the boy.

"Yes.. I guess I do.." he looked at the boy, and for once his hard crimson orbs softened.

"I don't want your sympathy though, Hiei.. I'll just wait..forever if I have too.."

"Is he really worth it..?"

"Yes..worth that and more.."//

Hiei sighed, drawing a finger into the wind. Tilting his head, he leaped higher into the tree. It was the largest for miles and he knew he could easily see everything from here. _Stupid fox.. Those ningen feelings of his have finally got him into trouble._

The jaganshi's movements were much too quick for the normal eye to see, and he was at the top of the tree in a matter of seconds. His crimson orbs scanned the scenery, for any kind of signal.

To his left and back were all trees, leaping, reaching into the sun to capture its rays. They were lush and green as they always were in this part of the Makai. The tree in which he stood was by far the largest and oldest. Its bark was burned from the countless years it had been forced to look directly into the scorching, blistering sun with no protection. But its age spoke to the demon, telling of all it had seen. The boy was close.

As his eyes scanned out over the meadows and clearing to his front and right, a scent caught his nostrils. It wasn't human, nor was it demon. His orbs scanned the meadows until they rested on the end of the broad forest. There, a small stream wound it's way to meet and give food and comfort to the lush greenery that lived on the edge of both meadow and forest.

A perfect location for a break, for either ningen or demon. Hiei slipped down the tree and leaped to a lower and younger species of hardwood. From here, he made his way across the broad forest to where the stream met the forest and meadow.

_Just light will guide you_

_and your heart will chart the course_

_Soon you'll be drifting_

_into the arms of your true north_

Hiei landed perfectly beneath the tree and as silently as a cat he began stalking his prey. He knew, however, that the teen he sought was very aware of his presence for he had yet to suppress his energy.

"Hiei..It's a surprise to see you here.." came a small voice, but the boy that it belonged to continued to stare at the stream in which his tired limbs were resting in.

"Indeed," came the demon's reply.

"Well, I'm sure you didn't travel out here for nothing.." the younger boy said, tilting his head a bit to look at the other.

Hiei nodded and went to sit on a large rock embedded in a tree root nearby. His orbs examined the boy, and he was amazed at what three years in the demon world had done for him. The half-demon's skin was a tan color, no doubt from the countless hours that he had spent in the sun. He wasn't wearing a shirt, and his chest muscles were much more defined then before. His waist was much more slender then when he had left, something that usually happened to those wandering alone in the wildernesses of the Makai.

"So..why'd you come all this way? I heard that you'd left the Makai again to stay in the Ningenkai..no doubt to watch over little Yukina, ne?" the boy asked, though his voice was neither joking nor teasing. It was more.... more lost, and confused.

"Actually, I've come to check on you."

"...." the younger said nothing, just stared at the water that bubbled over his feet.

Hiei was about to speak, when his eyes picked up something they had seen before. Yusuke's body was covered in scars and long scratches, some fresh and some of old. Slowly his orbs traveled to the boy's legs that were submerged in the cool depths of the stream. His crimson orbs widened ever so slightly as he noticed the clear water was tinted with blood from a wound that he couldn't see. "We really need to talk.."

Kurama sighed as he pulled the blankets closer to his body and slipped deeper into his bed. There was a soft knock on the door, time for the daily routine. 

"Kurama? Are you in there?" came Yukina's motherly voice.

"Yes..." Kurama said in a small, almost weak voice.

Slowly the door opened, creaking in annoyance. "Are you feeling all right?" she asked, noting the redhead was still in bed.

"Yes.." he said again in a flat tone.

Carefully she walked over and reached a pale, petite hand over the boy's body to touch his forehead. "Well, you don't have a temperature.."

"I know..but.." he began in a soft voice, "I'm still not feeling..to good..." 

The maiden placed a hand on her hip, she knew the boy's problem, and she wished she could help. "If it will help Kurama.." She said softly.

"It will Yukina-san.. I'll be okay after my birthday..like it is every year.."

The girl nodded a little, and slowly began to retreat from the boy's room. Every year on his birthday it was the same thing, sulking and slowly dropping back into his depression.

Closing the door behind her, she faintly heard the small sniffle of oncoming tears from her young friend. _Oh Kurama, I hope this year is better.. I hope Hiei is able to find Yusuke wherever he is.._

_Look in my eyes_

_and you'll see a million tears have gone by_

_and still they're not dry_

"Are you positive?" Yusuke asked, his eyes wide, brows lost in the mop of bangs that were scattered over his forehead. 

"Of course I'm positive," he scoffed, "you don't actually think I'd come all this way to play mother Hiei do you?" The question was asked with a gesture to the other's bandaged legs.

Yusuke chuckled a little, lightening the mood a bit. His features darkened though after a brief pause. "And tomorrow's the day huh?"

"Yes, it's very important to both of them that you come back.."

"Both? You mean Kurama too?"

"Of course baka," he said, rolling his eyes a little. 

"So you mean you really _are_ telling the truth?"

"How many times have I lied to you, Urameshi?"

"None, I guess.." the younger answered slowly, his features resembling thoughtfulness.

"All I know is, every year around this time, Kurama slips into a major depression in your absence. Yukina asked me to come find you, quite a task I may add."

Yusuke sighed slightly, resting his chin on his knees. "To be honest with you, Kurama's been the only thing on my mind too.."

"Then why haven't you come back? It's been three years Yusuke.." the demon said, his knowledge of human emotions showing its limit at this point. 

"Hiei, if you haven't noticed, Kurama's a guy..and dating guys isn't something smiled upon in the Ningenkai. Homosexuality may be okay here in the Makai but -"

"You actually care what those pathetic ningens think?" he interrupted, narrowing his eyes at his leader. "If you haven't noticed, you're half demon Yusuke Urameshi. You have three, four years at most you can stay in that world before people start to suspect things.."

"I know.." he said slowly, nodding in understanding, "but I'm also engaged to -"

"Keiko? Yeah, I know, Kurama's told me over and over. It's like this Urameshi," he began, staring at the other as if he were a bad dog or a child, "You and Keiko can't last more than a few years. She'll age and you won't. Kurama loves you, and like you, he'll age slowly. So you can either take your one year with the ningen female, or you can live your life with Kurama... I _know_ you like him the same way he likes you.."

Yusuke stared at Hiei, surprised until he remembered the other's telepathic abilities. He said nothing for a bit, merely thinking over the other's words.

Hiei sighed slightly and stood. "Fine, break his heart..but don't come crying to me after this.." the demon said as he got up, jumping into a nearby branch.

The Reikai Tentai gasped and stood, wobbling slightly. "Hiei! Wait!"

_If only tears could bring you back to me_

_If only love could find a way_

_What I would do, what I would give_

_If you return to me someday_

_somehow, someway_

_If my tears could bring you back to me_

Kurama sat on the edge of the cliff again. This was his thinking spot now. His birthday was only so painful because that he couldn't share it with the ebony haired teen that he loved so dearly. Also because Yusuke, after hearing how close their last mission was to Kurama - or Shuuichi's - birthday, he had promised the teen that he'd make sure no one missed his birthday.

"And yet you did Yusuke, you promised no one would miss it," his emerald orbs turned frustrated and almost angry, "but you missed it Yusuke.. _You_ missed it.."

Tears started leaking from the other's eyes. The day before his birthday, and he had finally given up hope that his friend would ever return. A day before that special day and he no longer wanted to live.

Slowly, the older boy drew himself up. The sun, by now was setting. Tomorrow was his birthday, he should be happier, he should be merry! Thoughts of jumping off that cliff whence he sat rocketed through his mind but he once remembered his own words came to mind. _Suicide is not the answer. There is neither honor nor redemption in that._

Hiei led his leader back to the portal that he had used to get to the Makai. It would in turn bring them to an alley right outside the teen's apartment. He figured by then it would be dark out, or at least after sunset. 

They would stop briefly at the boy's apartment so that he could shower and get ready. There was enough time, he hoped. Yusuke's things had already been moved from the apartment, leaving only his mother's things. They had been moved because Koenma had warned them that bringing Yusuke back to the Ningenkai might not be the best thing, as he wouldn't have aged from what the humans knew him to look like.

So they had moved the boy's things out and to the temple Genkai had given them in hopes it could become a sanctuary for demons who wanted to live in peace with humans. Yukina was now the keeper of the temple, and everyone stayed there. Kurama, Yukina, himself, and even on occasion the wandering Jin and Touya stayed at the temple.

Slowly they made their way to the portal, and Hiei began relaying the plans telepathically to the other. Before he knew it, the trees had faded out of sight, along with the tall golden suntanned grass that sprouted in the glades. Before them was a large rocky cave, the stalagmites that dipped into the darkness shading the slight glow that was being emitted from the back.

"Is this the place where the portal is?" Yusuke asked, limping up next to his short friend. 

Hiei nodded, waving his hand in a gesture for the other to follow.

Nodding in turn, Yusuke stepped into the cave behind the jaganshi. "So this takes us to an alley next to my house? Why wasn't I ever told about this?"

"Before this you weren't ready to enter the Makai, especially alone," the other answered matter-of-factly, their voices echoing in the depth and darkness in the cave.

Yusuke shrugged a little. "I could've taken care of myself..." he said, in a defensive tone.

Hiei rolled his eyes and shrugged a bit. "Whatever," he said in an uncaring voice. The two continued to walk, the dim, glimmering light slowly grew and got brighter until the darkness around them had retreated into the far corners of the earthly crevasse.

"This is it? Isn't it a bit obvious?" Yusuke asked, raising an eyebrow at the other.

"Yusuke, this portal only opens and can be seen by demons with pure intentions, and wouldn't hurt the humans that live on the other side.." Hiei answered.

Yusuke nodded. "Oh..All right.."

Hiei sighed slightly. "Let's just go," he said, slipping into the portal and disappearing. A few minutes passed before Yusuke emerged behind him.

"All right, let's get you ready then go.. Kurama can't wait all day. You know.." Hiei said, crossing his arms about his chest and walking from the dark alley to the equally dark street. The only thing that lit the air and cut through the darkness was one of the lights before them. _I knew it would be about this time.. Kurama should be sleeping by now.. That means that I can get Yusuke in easily and Yukina can do with him what she will.._

Kurama settled into his bed, pulling the blankets about his body. The model grandfather clock in his bedroom chimed nine times and he sighed slightly. Yukina would be in as she always did at this time to offer him a cup of hot chocolate before bed. Of course, he felt that it was a useless gesture, for the fox teen always politely declined the cup. Maybe tonight he'd be different and except one.

Precisely at nine o' five, the time the ice maiden always came in, there was a knock on the door. 

"Come in," Kurama called softly.

The door opened and the blue haired maiden stepped inside. Unlike most days, her arms were not occupied by the large silver platter that held the two cups of hot chocolate or the large silver tea kettle. Instead her arms were drawn in front of her, hands clasped together on her lap. "Going to bed Kurama?" she asked in her gentle voice.

The redhead nodded and sat up a little. "Yes, I was planning on going, unless there's something you'd like to talk about with me?"

She shook her head slightly, still smiling. "Oh no, it's nothing really important.. I just wanted to make sure you were still going to be here for your birthday party, or if you're going home for the day."

"Well," Kurama looked up at her, and could tell she had a secret... a surprise of some sort. "I wasn't planning on going home tomorrow. My mother thinks I am out of the country, and I don't really want to explain why I look no different from when I left to her, not just yet.. Unless you don't want me here Yukina-san, I can gladly leave.."

"Oh no!" she said, a little too quickly, "I mean, everyone is going to be here.. We're throwing you a party and it would, of course, be nice if the birthday boy could show up."

He laughed slightly and nodded. "Sure, I'll come.. But don't you think I'm a little old to still be having birthday parties?"

"Of course not!" she said with a small innocent gasp, "I'm older than you, and I still love having birthday parties!"

Kurama laughed slightly and nodded, though his eyes held a depth of sadness. "Yeah, don't worry. I'll be there.." he said softly, adding mentally, _Though I don't really want to.._

Smiling deeply, the maiden nodded to her redheaded companion. "Then I won't keep you up any longer. I'll see you tomorrow, Kurama," she said, turning to walk out of the bedroom. Her eyes still held that familiar sparkle to them. She knew something that he didn't.

Kurama woke up and slipped out of bed, shuffling across the wooden floor to his attached bathroom. Closing the door, he looked across and saw the green painted room that led directly to Yusuke's room. He had asked for it to be that way.

Along the hall outside his room were nine other rooms. Each room had a room that shared a bathroom, making ten rooms and eight bathrooms. He had chosen a spacious room over looking a large, lovely garden. His room was attached to another room through the bathroom. It was painted green and the window overlooked the beach a little way away.

Walking to the door, he jiggled the handle a bit. "Funny... Yukina never locks the door..." he said, raising an eyebrow.

Sighing a little, he began getting dressed and cleaning up. The redhead chose a black tunic and red sash which he tied around his waist. The material used in the tunic was black, yet the trimming was a red color. Running up one leg of the matching black pants was a gold and red dragon. He had received the gift from Kuwabara and Shizuru on his last birthday. He was very fond of it, and everyone told him it looked nice on him. Whether they were telling the truth or not was a mystery to himself, but he trusted his friends.

Running a brush through his hair, he pulled it back and ran his fingers through it a few times before letting it fall loosely over his shoulders. Sighing a little, he shrugged his appearance off before walking out of the bathroom.

Stepping lightly over the hard wood floor, the fox slipped his feet into the red slip on shoes that went with his outfit and turned the handle on his door, walking out. Looking up and down the hall, Kurama's eyes settled on Yusuke's bedroom door and he sighed slightly._ Kurama, he's not coming back.. If he was, he'd be home already.._ He told himself, sighing and walking the other way.

Bedroom being on the second floor of the temple, it took Kurama a little while to get downstairs. "Kurama!" Yukina called brightly as he ascended into the living room. "You're up finally..!" 

"Yes," he said softly, nodding a little.

"Well, everyone's already shown up, they're waiting for you in the kitchen."

With a small nod, Kurama watched as Yukina popped back into the kitchen, and he followed in after her. Around the counter were all his friends, not many compared to some people, but they were his best friends. 

Kuwabara was sitting next to his sister Shizuru, who seemed to be chiding him over messing around while Yukina stood, giggling innocently at 'Kazuma's silly ways'. Keiko was sitting next to Shizuru, talking idly with Botan. Botan was laughing at some joke that the girl had said and was waving her hands madly, almost hitting Hiei who was sitting on the window sill, enjoying the sunlight over his features.

Kurama walked slowly into the room, walking past all his friends and greeting them each, making his way to Hiei. He needed someone quiet to talk to on his 'special' day.

"Hey Hiei.." he said softly, walking over and looking at his shorter friend.

"Hn.." was the other's only reply, and a flicker as his ruby orbs turned on the other boy.

"I..Um...heard you went to the Makai.." he said slowly, shifting a little. "Did you?"

"If you're asking if I caught up with Yusuke, that's a no. The Makai is a big place Kurama, and I wasn't particularly looking for him."

Kurama sighed, a long, almost depressed sigh. "Oh, all right.."

Hiei nodded a little. "You don't think he's still going to come back do you? It's just a false hope Kurama..."

The redhead turned, almost on the verge of tears. "Hiei..."

The demon turned as well, short legs dangling off the sill. "Kurama, why don't you come out of that fantasy world of yours and come back to reality?"

The younger demon turned on his friend, a glare in his eyes, despite the tears that threatened to fall. "It's not a false hope... Yusuke will come back!" with that, he turned and ran out of the temple and away from it.

The group of friends looked over to where the scene had once been, each stunned at the outburst. Sure, Kurama was always depressed on his birthday, everyone knew the reason. Everyone knew he loved Yusuke, even more than Keiko did, and each felt pity for him.

Hiei looked over at Yukina before turning. _It was for your own good Kurama.. You'll forgive me when you get your gift.._

Kurama ran through the woods, falling to his knees just before the edge of the cliff, tears streaming down his cheeks in sadness. "Hiei's wrong.. He's wrong.." he whispered over and over again.

He stayed like that for maybe ten minutes, never hearing the soft snap of a tree branch or the rustle of a bush foretelling someone's presence. He never knew anyone was there until a hand gently rested on his shoulder.

With blurry eyes he looked up, his emerald orbs focusing on the boy that had touched him. In the split second of realization, his eyes widened and his body began trembling. "Y-Y-Yusuke..?!"

_I hold you close_

_And shout the words I only whispered before_

_For one last chance, for one last dance_

_There's nothing that I would not give and more_

The ebony haired teen nodded slowly and kneeled beside his friend. "Hi Kurama..."

Without warning, Kurama's trembling body leapt forward and his arms encircled the boy. "Oh Yusuke... Yusuke.... Where have you been?! You've been gone for so long.."

Yusuke embraced the boy back. "I'm sorry I was gone so long..and made you worry.."

"No.. No, Yusuke... please don't apologize.." he said slowly, pulling away slightly.

Yusuke looked at the other, a bit confused.

"Yusuke.." he said softly, looking at the other. "I-I.. I have to tell you something.."

"What?" he asked, letting his arms drop away from the other.

"Yusuke.. I... I need to... tell you..that.." his eyes looked nervous, but he had to do it, he had to tell Yusuke. Everyone else knew, if he didn't find it out from him someone else would let it slip and then Yusuke may never like him because he was too nervous to tell him himself.

Yusuke's eyes widened as he looked at the boy, now clinging desperately to his shirt and sobbing almost uncontrollably. "Kurama.. Kurama, are you okay?"

The redhead, snapping out of his thoughts, realized what he was doing and pulled away. "I-I'm sorry Yusuke.."

"It's all right..but, what did you want to tell me?"

"Yusuke.. I.. I need to tell you how I feel about you.."

"Go on.." he said slowly, looking at the other.

Kurama inhaled deeply, his brain screamed at his to stop, while his heart ached to confess. "IloveyouYusukeIalwayshaveandIalwayswill," he said quickly, turning his head away from the other in pre-rejection.

The younger smiled and placed a hand on the other's cheek. "Really... I thought you'd never tell me.." he said, his smile deepening as he saw the other look at him.

"W-what?"

"I love you too, Kurama... ever since I first met you on the roof top.."

Kurama's eyes went wide and he stared at the other. "Y-you do?"

"Yes.. I do... really..."

The breath that the redhead had been holding subconsciously was released and Kurama looked up at his leader. "Oh.. Yusuke... I never knew.."

He smiled a little. "I never knew you liked me either.."

"Well, I-I did...and I do.." he said, still stumbling over his words.

Yusuke smiled a little. The hand that was placed on the boy's cheek switched to just his finger. Drawing his finger down the other's soft skin, he placed it under the boy's chin and lifted it up, so their eyes met.

Kurama's eyes widened a bit as he stared at the other. Taking in a breath, he felt the other's face lessen in distance from his own, before the other's velvet soft lips were pressed gently onto his._ Now this... is the perfect birthday gift . . . _

_If only tears could bring you back to me_

_If only love could find a way_

_What I would do, what I would give_

_If you return to me someday_

_somehow, someway_

_If my tears could bring you back to me_


End file.
